When Someone Dies: FREE eBook, March 19-20, 2022
Check out the new book, "When Someone Dies: A Children’s Mindful How-To Guide on Grief and Loss,"
By Andrea Dorn, MSW, before it releases! Andrea is very passionate about normalizing the outward
expression of grief and creating open and healing spaces to help children work through these difficult, yet incredibly common and normal feelings so she and PESI have generously partnered to offer an
Amazon Kindle version of "When Someone Dies" FOR FREE for the next two days, March 19-20, 2022!
If you decide to download please consider leaving an honest review or rating. Reviews and ratings are
incredibly helpful in allowing books to reach a larger audience - and this is one book that really needs
to reach children and families far and wide!
Preorder a hard copy and/or get the FREE download at https://amzn.to/3wgcytY
Please also share and “like” to spread the word!
For more information about the author and to learn more about all the books in the Mindful Step Series visit:
Instagram LIVE with Ashley Jackson of
Timeless Dream Events
Friday, June 18, 2021 at 4:30 PM MST/6:30 PM EST
Join My Grief Connection founder, Sara Cobb as she speaks with Ashley Jackson of Timeless Dream Events who will share about her new memoir, "Lost Travel Found," her story of surviving grief, finding herself and falling madly in love which releases on June 18th in honor of her beloved dad, just in time for father's day. Ashely will talk about the sudden death of her dad ten years ago, which
was a defining experience in her life. She'll also tell us about the challenging experience she went through when years later her husband was diagnosed with
a rare cancer in stage 4, beating the 35% chance of survival he was given.
After these events Ashley came to know her purpose in life. She will tell us about how her business Timeless Dream Events was born out of her pain and its mission and vision is to provide terminally ill people and their family members with
a “timeless dream event” that will celebrate life and love. She plans various events, at minimal notice due to each unique and sensitive situation.
To learn more about Ashely visit www.timelessdreamevents.com
Catch the LIVE on Instagram @my_grief_connection on
Friday, June 18, 2021 at 4:30 PM MST/6:30 PM EST.
Follow Ashely on Instagram at @timelessdreamevents
Instagram LIVE with Children's Book
Author, Jalisa Rose Smith
Sunday, June 13, 2021 at 2:00 PM MST/4:00 PM EST
Join My Grief Connection founder, Sara Cobb as she speaks with Jalisa Rose Smith, author of the children's
book, "In His Absence I Can Still Feel His Presence." Jalisa will share about the loss of her father when
she was 11 years old and how his death has affected and shaped her life. She'll talk about her
motivation to write her children's book about loss. Her book is designed to help children cope with
grief through words of encouragement, prayer and scriptures.
To learn more about Jalisa visit http://www.authorjalisasmith.com/
Catch the LIVE on Instagram @my_grief_connection on Sunday, June 13, 2021 at 2:00 PM MST/4:00 PM EST
Follow Jalisa Rose Smith on Instagram at @authorjalisasmith
Lost, Travel, Found: Turning Pain Into Purpose
From Ashley Jackson, the Founder of Timeless Dream Events comes a raw and riveting story of love, purpose, and discovery. Lost, Travel, Found tells her story of surviving grief, finding herself across the planet, and falling madly in love. Read as she shares the first few decades of her life, working through the unexpected loss of her father, navigating through the world on a solo trip, and supporting her husband through a devastating cancer diagnosis. This book is not just about her care giving journey, it is a story that will remind you how to overcome a victim mentality to become a victor. It will inspire you to dream big and will make hope call your name again.
Will you be brave enough to answer? You won’t be disappointed, let the adventure begin!
Pre-order NOW to be one of the first to receive their books after June 18, 2021!
First 50 orders will also receive a FREE GIFT!
Pre-order and join the book launch team at: http://timelessdreamevents.com/book-launch/
Sara Cobb & Claudia Chappel - Instagram Live Interview replay -The ARt of living with Grief - 15 Feb 2021Read Now
Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief
Emily Thiroux Threatt, has written a book I highly recommend called
"Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief."
It is our pleasure to get the word out about her wonderful new book so her heartfelt words of hope can help those who are dealing with the pain of loss.
The book is available for purchase it on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and all
places online where books are sold. All books purchased through January 23rd will greatly help boost the chance of the book being a Best Seller,
which means many more people who need to hear Emily's story and benefit
from her wisdom will find it.
Please consider picking up a copy for yourself and/or gifting a copy to a
friend who is grieving. You can also help support My Grief Connection by
buying your copy at https://amzn.to/3sCK9Kf
Be sure to follow Emily on Instagram at @emily_thiroux_threatt
Future Widow by Jenny Lisk - Book Buy-One-Get-One Until January 10, 2021
When her forty-three-year-old husband was diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer, Jenny Lisk was
thrust into the role of caregiver. In her new book, "Future Widow," she goes behind the scenes of her
tumultuous and heartbreaking journey, and asks: "Do I have what it takes to help my young family
survive my husband’s terminal illness?"
Everyone who buys the new book or ebook through January 10th can request a free ebook download to
give a friend. It's Jenny's way of giving back, and getting the book into as many hands as possible.
To purchase your copy and get a FREE ebook for a friend, visit: http://jennylisk.com/bogo
Don't forget to follow @liskjenny on Instagram, subscribe to The Widowed Parent Podcast
and visit https://futurewidowbook.com/
Visit the "Recommendations" tab to find other reading suggestions and to purchase books with the
My Grief Connection affiliate link which helps support this page.
Hurt 2 Hope: Heal the Pain of Loss, Grief, and Adversity - By Betsy Guerra, PhD
I'm so proud of my beautiful friend Dr. Betsy Guerra at Better With Betsy on the publication of her
terrific new book, "Hurt 2 Hope: Heal the Pain of Loss, Grief, and Adversity."
Whether you’ve lost a loved one, been through a divorce, encountered financial or health hardships,
or you’re enduring major change, you know grief. If you are hurting, feeling stuck, or looking for a
light at the end of the tunnel, this book is for you.
After suddenly losing her 3 year old daughter in 2013, Dr. Betsy Guerra met excruciating pain and
hopelessness face-to-face. Her grief journey taught her lessons that superseded the knowledge afforded
by her doctorate degree and decades of clinical practice. Ultimately, Betsy found her way to joy,
while continuing to love and honor her daughter.
Combining her background in clinical psychology with her personal experience and unwavering faith,
Betsy developed the most powerful approach to converting hurt into hope. If you want to learn more
about her amazing Hurt 2 Hope program, visit www.hurt2hope.com for more info.
Dr. Betsy's new book "Hurt 2 Hope" would be a terrific gift option for the grievers
in your life, which might include you.
'Confessions of a Griever' eBook on Sale for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day
Did you know that October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day?
Light a candle for 60 minutes to honor the parents you know who have lost sweet babies at 7pm local time.
Crystal Webster, founder and Chief Solace Officer at https://www.sharingsolace.com/ ,
wants to give back (and pay it forward) to the grief community that has provided her so much comfort
since her precious daughter Madelyn died 10 years ago.
So, the Amazon Kindle version of her wonderful book "Confessions of a Griever: Turning a Hot Mess into an Haute Message (Laughable Lessons for When Life Just Sucks)" is on sale for only $.99 on Amazon from Oct 15th-21st!
Visit the "Recommendations" tab at www.mygriefconnection.org and read the summary of the book there
and click through to purchase or visit the affiliate link at https://amzn.to/2H4Uj3e
The Do’s and Don’t’s of Talking With a Child About the Death of a Loved One - By Guest Blogger Danica ThurberRead Now
The Do’s and Don’t’s of Talking With a Child About the Death of a Loved One
1 in 5 children will experience the death of someone close to them by age 18.
(Kenneth Doka, Editor of OMEGA, Journal of Death and Dying)
Talking to a child about death may be one of the hardest things you have to do in your life. I conducted a survey in early 2020 about parents’ experiences with helping their children talk about and grieve the loss of a loved one. One respondent’s answer was very telling:
[M]y husband, their father, died. Telling my kids was even more painful than his death.
That’s what makes this topic so complicated: along with starting difficult conversations with your children, you yourself may be deep in the throes of grief for the loss of the same loved one.
While I wish that there was a way to lessen your pain, I have found that there are several things you can bring into conversations with your kids to make it easier.
As another survey respondent wrote:
Knowing the right language and having guidance on how to talk about death can help make the conversation less scary and have the confidence the conversation is healthy.
The following tips will do just that - provide guidance that can help you have some structure, as well as some confidence, as you enter the unknowns of these difficult conversations with your children.
DON’T SOFTEN YOUR LANGUAGE - BE DIRECT
“We speak of heaven and of illness. We do not use words such as ‘she went to sleep’... It can be hard at first to be direct, but two years later we see great fruit from the hard conversations.” - 2020 survey respondent
It can be tempting to soften the blow by softening your language (“he passed away,” “she went to heaven in her sleep”). However, kids don’t necessarily grasp the nuances of adult language. For young children especially, it’s important to use the words “dead” and “death” and then to describe what that actually means. For example:
“… explain that when someone dies their body stops working, they can’t eat, talk, feel, etc. That their heart and lungs stop working…” - 2020 survey respondent
My children’s book, “Lulu Faces Loss and Finds Encouragement,” portrays this type of direct conversation in a simple and emotional way. The main character, Lulu is eight years old, and because this is her first major loss, she needs to know precisely what death means as it applies to her relationship with her Grandma:
Once a child understands the physical reality of death, you can then explain it in terms of your family’s spiritual beliefs regarding what happens after death.
If you’re facing an impending death, you’ve got a good opportunity to be honest with children now about a loved one’s prognosis. I know it’s hard to be honest about this, because you may be having a hard time accepting their prognosis as well. However, talking about what will happen when the loved one dies, as well as who will take care of them, and then answering their questions, will greatly help them prepare for a loved one's impending death.
“My husband was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer in 2016. He died in May 2019. [A]long the way we worked to be honest with our kids about how serious it was while also not wanting to burden them more than was necessary.” - 2020 survey respondent
Kids though, take all their cues from their parents. While I was in deep traumatic grief, I tried to remain/appear steady for them. - 2020 survey respondent
The concept of death is something that is acquired as a child matures and goes through life experiences. Explaining death using concepts that are either too old, or too young for the child, may cause more frustration and hurt. It may be helpful to research developmental understanding of death before approaching your conversation with your child. Cancer.net has a very helpful summary.
According to cancer.net, school-aged children (6-12 years old) are able to understand that death is final (AKA, irreversible regardless of what they think, say or do). However, they may still think of the deceased person existing in a changed form, such a spirit, like a ghost, angel, or a skeleton. “By age 10, [children can] understand that death happens to everyone and cannot be avoided,” that is, they understand the universality of death. They may be interested in the specific details surrounding the circumstances of that person’s death, or what is being done to the body (autopsy, cremation, burial). School-aged children “[m]ay experience a range of emotions including guilt, anger, shame, anxiety, sadness, and worry about their own death,” and they may also incorrectly assign blame to themselves, thinking they somehow caused the death. Every child will experience grief differently, but some may “[s]truggle to talk about their feelings. Their feelings may come out through behaviors such as school avoidance, poor performance in school, aggression, physical symptoms, withdrawal from friends, and regression.” In addition, school-aged children “[m]ay worry about who will take care of them, and will likely experience feelings of insecurity, clinginess, and abandonment.”
In light of this age-centered understanding of death, when talking to a school-aged child about death, you may:
“Helping them know their dad is still with them, loves them and is proud of them.” - 2020 survey respondent
A child’s sense of security is rocked when a loved one dies. Speaking from my own experience of childhood loss,
I know that children will need an abundance of reassurance in the coming weeks and months in order to recover that loss of security.
DON’T say things like these:
Hopefully you can detect the cringe-worthy burdens lurking behind these words. While these phrases may have the appearance of reassurance, they only serve to stifle a child’s grief because of an expectation of how they “should” or “shouldn’t” be feeling.
Instead, here are some things you can do repeatedly (keyword!) in conversations with your school-aged child:
LET THEM LEAD
“I try to just meet them wherever they are emotionally. If they want to talk, we talk. If they want to cry, we cry.
If they want funny stories, we tell funny stories. I have found in my own grief, that grief is much more bearable
if you’re allowed to talk about it & live in it. So i try to do that for them too.” - 2020 survey respondent
It’s commonly said that a child’s inability to cope with trauma or big emotions is the their mind’s way of protecting them. Children will tend to express their grief in small spurts, rather than in long, drawn out seasons, as an adult would. In between these spurts, the child may seem completely fine. According to cancer.net, “A child’s grief may seem to come and go. And a child may rarely verbally express his or her grief. This is normal. Your child may also re-experience the intensity of the loss as he or she grows up.” It’s almost as if the loss needs to be re-processed with each developmental stage they pass. I’ve certainly found this to be true in my own experience.
DON’T force a child to engage in a grief activity. Have activities such as a trip to the cemetery, a book about loss, or a therapeutic art activity ready to go for when they seem to be feeling sad or when they bring up a question. Let the child’s emotions lead you, but don’t be afraid to ask questions, either. You might also learn more from an overheard conversation during play time, or their recent drawing of the family.
“When the boys were 3 and 5, their brother died as a result of a birth defect […] We learned to be more in the moment when it came to grief for them-they would be sad and ask why he had to leave one minute and then be totally ok the next.” - 2020 survey respondent
WHEN TO SEEK HELP
If you yourself are emotionally incapacitated by the loss of a loved one, it can be near impossible to provide the support your child needs. It takes so much courage to recognize that you need help. Attending counseling and seeking social support from other trusted adults will help not only you, but your child as well.
Pay special attention to signs that your child may be having an especially difficult time coping with a loved ones death:
See source link here.
YOU CAN DO THIS
While you’re the adult in the situation, that doesn’t mean you have to have it all together, or provide all the answers. A listening ear, a comforting hug, and a willingness to answer questions will go a long way towards helping a child cope with the loss of a loved one.
Remember, you’re allowed to grief, too. Showing at least some of your grief in front of your children shows them that it’s perfectly ok to feel their grief too. A family that learns to grieve together, no matter how messily, will be able to help each other find strength and hope as they navigate a loss, together.
Books can be helpful tools for both you and your child. They can be conversation starters, as well as give you a tangible reference point for discussing things you don’t have words for (“remember how in the book, Grandma lost all of her hair? That’s what will happen to your mom soon.”). If you’re looking for a book that can help you and your child talk about things like death, cancer, hospice, or the loss of a grandparent, check out “Lulu Faces Loss and Finds Encouragement,” available on Amazon on October 20, 2020.
Danica Thurber is a professional artist, therapeutic art Life Coach, and art teacher. She's also the art ministry director at Vineyard Boise. Visit her website at https://projectgrief.org/
Parenting After Trauma
Presented by Beth Tyson, Psychotherapist, Parenting Coach & Children's Book Author
Wednesday, July 15, 2020 at 11:00 AM (EST)
If you or a loved once have experienced a trauma, please Beth for the latest research and
tools on how to cope with trauma and loss. You will walk away with practical tools and information that will shift your perspective on both you and your child’s behavior.
This webinar is open to adults, parents, caregivers, and professionals working with children.
She will explain what is considered a traumatic event, how it impacts the brain and nervous system, and
what we can do to move forward in life with a whole heart. There is always hope and the potential for
post-traumatic growth if we take the time to process our experiences. Beth used personal experience to
motivate her to become a specialist in trauma and loss therapy.
She not only knows the clinical tools to heal, but she has been through it herself.
Save your spot before they run out!
Register at: https://chipper-builder-2756.ck.page/2538d447bc
Sara J. Cobb
Founder, My Grief Connection
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My Grief Connection - Created 04 July 2019
Updated 18 May 2022
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