Category: Blog

6/8/2022

A New Home and a Fresh Start Amid Grief - By Catherine Workman

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Image via Unsplash

A New Home and a Fresh Start Amid Grief

It goes without saying that losing a spouse or partner turns your life upside-down. But one thing that doesn't change is your physical surroundings. The route you once walked to the corner store, the kitchen where they cooked your favorite meals, the herb garden you planted together — they're all still there. The same environment that once felt like home can feel disorienting without your partner.

If you and your partner lived in the same house for a long time, reminders of the loss can feel ever-present in your space. While some memories of your loved one can bring comfort, constant or intrusive thoughts can take a toll on your mental health.

It's okay to consider leaving the home you once shared. In fact, doing so can be an act of self-care. Of course, relocating doesn't eliminate feelings of grief completely, but it may be the fresh start you need to eventually arrive at a "new normal" in your life.

Choosing a New Neighborhood

You don't have to travel a long distance to experience a completely different neighborhood. You might want to live in the bustle of a city or in the tranquility of the countryside. You may find that you have more flexibility to move closer to work or family now. Rather than frequenting the same local haunts you used to visit with your loved one, you have the chance to find new places to make yourself a "regular." Remember, you can always venture back to your old neighborhood for a visit when the mood strikes.

Packing Up

Be gentle with yourself. Moving allows you to begin sorting through your loved one's belongings. Maybe you can discard some non-sentimental items as you're decluttering your own possessions for the move. It might be a good time to donate most of their clothing and shoes if you haven't done so already.

When it comes to sentimental items, pack them up, and don't force yourself to make any decisions right now. You can store the boxes at your new place and revisit the items inside whenever you're ready.

Getting Ready to Sell

Moving is always a stressful experience, even when you're not dealing with grief. Make sure to get extra support from friends, family, and professionals. Even if you're usually the do-it-yourself type, consider hiring pros to get your home market-ready. They can quickly address any glaring maintenance issues, such as damaged plumbing, a finicky heating system, cracked windows, or chipped paint. Hiring a house cleaning service to deep-clean your home for real estate photos can be more affordable than you might think. These investments pay off when you place your house on the market.

Buying a Home

When you're ready to buy a new home, there are a few key steps you'll need to take in order to ensure things go smoothly. First, it's important to get your finances in order. This means creating a budget and saving up for a down payment. You'll also need to get pre-approved for a mortgage. Once you've done all of this, you can start the search for your new home. When you find the right one, be sure to have a professional home inspector take a look before making an offer. Once everything is finalized, you can move in and start enjoying your new home!

Once you’ve purchased a home, it’s time to purchase home insurance and consider a home warranty. Are home warranties really worth it? If you’re in a new home with all-new appliances, you could pass on a home warranty. But if the home inspection revealed some issues, it may be wise to purchase a policy.

Losing a spouse or partner will require a lengthy healing process. Use the tips above to find a new home and get a fresh start. If you need help processing your feelings of grief, reach out to My Grief Connection to find hope and support.

Thank you to our guest blogger Catherine Workman!

Catherine loves seeing the world and believes travel contributes to our overall wellness. She believes we should
all leave our comfort zones once in a while and uses travel to boost her physical and mental health. Ms. Workman
is part of a great team at Wellness Voyager and enjoys sharing her thoughts on travel and wellness.

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5/12/2021

Survivors of Murder-Suicide Loss Share How You Can Help Support

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Survivors of Murder-Suicide Loss Share How You Can Help Support

Check out the terrific new post on Brittany Noble McCarthy's blog,
"Survivors of Murder-Suicide Loss Share How You Can Help Support," at
https://brittanynoblemccarthy.com/survivors-of-murder-suicide-loss-share-how-you-can-help-support/

Brittany Noble McCarthy is a writer and advocate for two largely misunderstood areas: the life of military
families and survivors of murder-suicide loss. In addition to pieces published with the Tragedy Assistance
Program for Survivors (TAPS) and The Kentucky Derby Museum. Brittany is the co-founder of a
murder-suicide loss support group, along with fellow survivor My Grief Connection founder Sara J. Cobb,
and has connected with survivors across the country. She holds a Master’s Degree in Public Communication,
and is a certified Peer Mentor with TAPS. Brittany has participated in numerous grief and suicide
workshops with TAPS and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. She has also connected
with leading researchers in the field of suicidology and community violence.

This new post was co-written by several murder-suicide loss survivors, including Brittany & Sara,
with the intent of helping educate those in survivors’ support systems. In it, they share what would
have been most helpful – and what was not helpful – after their initial loss. They have joined in a
single voice that they hope reflects anyone who has experienced the tragic loss of a loved one to
murder-suicide or any sensationalized, traumatic loss. They cannot and do not speak for all survivors,
but if you are a survivor of murder-suicide loss, they hope you know you are not alone.

If you are a survivor of murder-suicide loss and are interested in connecting with other survivors for
support and/or direction to resources, please reach out to either Brittany or Sara via email for
information about their Survivors of Murder-Suicide Loss Virtual Support Group. This private support
group meets twice monthly via Zoom to share our stories, encourage and support one another.

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5/6/2021

Meditation as a Coping Strategy: How to Revitalize Your Body, Mind, and Spirit

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Guest Blog by Amy Collett

Meditation as a Coping Strategy: How to Revitalize Your Body, Mind, and Spirit

Photo via Unsplash

Experiencing loss, excess stress, undue financial strain, changing family dynamics, and countless other external forces can be extremely challenging, especially during a pandemic. While starting up a hobby or creating new at-home routines can help ease the negative thoughts and emotions and monotony, an alternative to combating these stressors is meditation. Incorporating meditation into your life can help encourage calm amid pandemic chaos. But the benefits can extend well into the future, too. Dive deeper into meditation (and how to DIY at home) here with My Grief Connection.

Why Meditation?
Emerging research suggests that meditation is beneficial for both your body and mind. Of course, people who have been meditating for years have already felt the difference that daily practice makes in their lives. Want to know more about why you should choose meditation?

Meditation Shows Promise for People with Grief and Depression
Research on mindfulness and meditation suggests that regular practice may play a part in coping with depression and grief. Results are inconclusive in studies so far, but many researchers are spurred to learn more based on their own positive experiences with meditating and prioritizing mindfulness.

Meditation May Help Ease Physical Pain
Studies suggest that mindfulness meditation-based action can improve “chronic pain symptomology.” Participants in one study reported a better quality of life after finishing an eight-week meditation program. The results lasted at least three years, suggesting that any amount of meditation can make an impact.

Meditation Might Relieve Worrisome Symptoms
Though meditation isn’t a cure-all for every ailment, it can help reduce your blood pressure, banish symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome, and even alleviate insomnia, studies suggest. These physical benefits may reduce the need for some medications – though you should always consult with your physician before changing your regimen.

How to Start (at Home)
You can start meditating at home in a few simple steps. But first, you’ll need a safe, relaxing, and comfortable area to begin your mindfulness practice. To achieve a calmer space, clean and de-clutter it, and let in some fresh air. You don't need a lot of equipment to get started with meditation -- it is recommended that you have a mat or comfortable cushion to sit on. Whether you're listening to a guided meditation or calming music, a soundbar can enhance your mediation sessions by providing high-quality sound.

Meditation for Beginners
Starting out with meditation can feel intimidating, but it can be as simple and personal as you desire. Expert support is ideal, of course, but you can begin with deep breathing exercises to help melt stress away and spend some rejuvenating me-time in a quiet corner of the house.

Positive Psychology suggests beginner-friendly techniques such as breathing, focus, and mantra meditations. But the beauty of this mind-opening activity is that you can make it your own. Of course, if you’re looking for guidance to get to expert-level and really change your life and perceptions, consider seeking professional support.

Where to Turn for Support
Navigating meditation on your own can seem intimidating. Plus, common barriers to truly becoming mindful and entering a meditative state can stop you from making progress. The solution is to collaborate with an expert in meditation and mindful breathing techniques.

You can get one-on-one support, either in person or remotely, to change your approach to meditation. Over time, you’ll find that regular meditation cracks your horizons wide open and exposes you to growth you never thought you could achieve on your own.

Whether you go it solo or enlist the help of a coach or partner, dedicate some of your time to meditation. It can provide you with healing and better coping techniques, whether you're dealing with loss, financial hardships, or pandemic-related stress.

If you're experiencing loss of any kind, or would like to support an individual who's dealing with grief, visit My Grief Connection for helpful resources such as support groups and grief services.

Amy Collett is creator of Biz Well, a website that helps professionals and entrepreneurs build and strengthen their personal brand. When she isn’t helping clients boost their careers or businesses, she enjoys coaching her daughter’s soccer team and training to become a yoga instructor.

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2/27/2021

HOW TO HANDLE COVID-RELATED LIFE CHANGES

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How to Handle COVID-Related
Life Changes

Photo Credit: Pexels.com

COVID-19 has changed lives all over the world. Since the pandemic began, you've probably had to adapt some
of your everyday habits, like how you workout or where you shop. Handling all these changes is stressful.
As Psychology Today explains, humans are naturally resistant to change.

COVID creates an especially tricky situation because it's very much beyond our control. My Grief Connection highlights some of the common emotions people are grappling with due to "Corona Grief," like difficulty concentrating and headaches. Luckily, there are resources available to help. The below guide covers life changes you may be experiencing as a result of COVID-19 and provides tips and tools on how to handle them.

You've lost your job.

According to USA Today, the unemployment rate is historically high. If you've lost your job, look for temp work
to make ends meet while you line up your next opportunity. The Work at Home Wife lists work-from-home
jobs that even provide paid training, from companies like Hilton, goFLUENT, and more.

You might also seize this opportunity to start your own business. Forming a limited liability company (LLC) allows you to enjoy tax advantages and protects your personal assets in case of liability claims. You don't have to pay an expensive attorney to file the paperwork to start an LLC. Business formation services are an affordable alternative.

You're spending more time at home.

Stay-at-home orders and concerns about infection have had people spending more time at home in the past year.
If you're starting to feel cooped up, it's time to make a change. Eliminate the negative energy of the past, and usher in positive vibes by cleansing your home. Get rid of clutter, open the windows to let in some fresh air, and smudge the room with sage. You can also get some affordable aromatherapy candles with soothing scents like lavender and lemongrass to create a more peaceful atmosphere.

Your social life has taken a blow.

As people spend less time outside of the home, they are also experiencing a decrease in social interactions. According to Medical News Today, humans are a naturally social species, and maintaining an active social life promotes physical and mental wellbeing. Look for new ways to reconnect with friends and family now that your social opportunities outside of the house have become more limited. You might watch a movie or television show with a pal using a tool like Netflix Party, for example, or have a "family dinner" via Zoom with loved ones who are located far away.

You're struggling to take care of yourself.

You may find it more difficult to take care of yourself as you deal with COVID-related change. This is understandable, especially if you are facing mental health hurdles like depression. As Harvard explains, depression changes the way the brain works — even causing cognitive impairments like memory loss, in some cases.

Motivating yourself to eat right and exercise in this state is tough. To cope, seek support. Make meal prep a family activity instead of doing it alone, for example. For exercise, try lining up a workout buddy and joining a Zoom fitness class. Cnet offers a list of five great options.

You've lost a loved one.

Finally, one of the biggest uncontrollable changes COVID may have introduced into your life is the loss of a loved one. If you are struggling with grief as a result, it's important to seek help. Look for support groups in your area via platforms like My Grief Connection. If you feel yourself struggling emotionally, don't hesitate to seek therapy. Platforms like BetterHelp allow you to get the assistance you need virtually and are more affordable than in-person counseling. You shouldn't have to grapple with grief alone.

The changes brought on by COVID-19 aren't always easy. However, they can be managed with the right resources and support. Hopefully, the above guide has given you some inspiration on how to get the support you need.

My Grief Connection provides grief services for children, teens, and families. Whether you are dealing with loss or COVID grief, find out how we can help.

Author Bio:
Jennifer Scott is a lifelong sufferer of anxiety and depression. A single mom, she writes about the ups and downs
of her mental illness on SpiritFinder.org. The blog serves as both a source of information for people with mental
illness and a forum where those living with anxiety and depression can come together to discuss their experiences.

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2/11/2021

Do People Hide Their Grief Over Overdose-Related Deaths Because of Addiction-Related Stigmas?

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Do People Hide Their Grief Over Overdose-Related Deaths Because of Addiction-Related Stigmas?

Bottle of Oxycodone on its side with pills spilled out onto the table

Drug addiction is a severe health danger that can put people at a high risk of many health issues. Sadly, many individuals die from overdoses every year, and their loved ones may struggle to understand this situation. Even worse, stigmas on addiction may make this mourning process and treatments such as rehab for mental illness harder to process appropriately.

Addiction-Related Stigmas Exist

Stigmas can be tough to fight because they are often so ingrained in culture and how people perceive the world. For example, stigmas about addiction – and other mental health illnesses – can paint a damaging picture. The idea that a person with an addiction is "weak" or "immoral" is widespread, and so is the idea that they "deserve" to suffer from addiction.

These stigmas are a real issue because they create a feeling of otherness to those with an addiction. This scenario strips them of their humanity and can make it harder for people to feel sympathy for them. Unfortunately, these stigmas can affect the loved ones of a person who has an addiction and make that individual's overdose death harder to mourn or accept.

Whether that loved one feels unable to mourn due to stigmas placed on the situation by others or by themselves is irrelevant – a stigma is a stigma. These feelings make it harder for a person to mourn a loved one. Instead of healing, they might face a challenging journey that may affect their recovery and cause a high level of emotional suffering that refuses to go away.

Why People Hide Grief

Many people hide grief over a loved one's death, an emotional reaction that is understandable but ultimately unhealthy. The reasons for this behavior can be quite complex, particularly if an individual experienced conflict with the person who passed. Overdose deaths might make a person's struggles with mourning even more difficult.
First of all, a person might disown a loved one with an addiction and may not recognize them in their life. Or, loved ones might be mourning a person with an addiction before they die because their addiction has changed the person and their lives so drastically. An individual may feel shame from others in their community and deal with their shame by hiding their mourning and depression.

But unprocessed emotions can challenge a person, making it difficult for them to move on from a loss. Even though they don't publicly – or even personally – admit to their grief, it exists. Left to fester, negative emotions such as grief can worsen and cause more damaging emotional health issues. Therefore, it is essential to fight addiction stigmas and process death properly.

Ways to Fight Stigma

Fighting the stigma against addiction starts by understanding your emotions. Sometimes people do not realize that they feel stigmas or behave in ways that may upset or damage their loved ones. For instance, individuals may use language that is very negative towards addiction and people with this disease, which may affect how they think about it.

This type of language includes terms such as addict, junkie, user, or drunk. These terms are harmful and can create a stigma in a person's mind. The terms put the disease before the person by defining them by it. As a result, those who use these terms reinforce the mistaken belief that a person with addiction chooses to be addicted, worsening their stigma.

Instead, it is crucial to understand that addiction is a disease, one that requires professional rehab help to combat. People do not choose to be addicted and they aren’t solely defined by their addictions. They are people who also have addictions to drugs or alcohol, not addicts, junkies, or drunks.

Accepting these distinctions can make it easier for a person to grieve their loved ones and adequately mourn them. Remember – mourning is an essential part of recovery after death, and removing addiction stigmas may allow a person to accept death and avoid hiding their emotions.

Ways You Can Help

If someone is suffering from grief due to the overdose death of a loved one, you could suggest that they talk with a therapist or another professional. By talking with therapists, people can explore and express their feelings without judgement. Therapists can help people acknowledge their grief while helping them navigate their new lives without their loved ones. Support groups can also provide assistance. Groups such as Grief Recovery After a Substance Passing (GRASP) include members who have suffered similar losses. GRASP notes that people sometimes treat addiction-related deaths differently, so it “was created to offer understanding, compassion, and support for those who have lost someone they love through addiction and overdose.”

There are grief support groups in specific geographic areas and ones that allow people to meet virtually or use online services to share and find information. The groups provide support and let people know that they’re not alone. They remind people that others have had similar experiences and are willing to help.

Assistance can also come in other forms. Instead of asking a grieving person what you can do, do something. You can:

Bring them meals.
Buy them gift cards to their favorite stores or restaurants.
Do chores for them.
Listen to them.

You can also help them find resources that address grief. Grief can be overwhelming. Helping people find some information can help them -- and you -- better understand what might be happening.

Just talking can also provide assistance. People might be worried that grieving people don’t want to talk about their loved ones, but the opposite is often true. By sharing stories and memories about their loved one, you allow people to discuss their grief and what their loved one meant to them.

By helping people take control of their emotional health, you give them a better chance to be happy and healthy. Just as importantly, they can give their loved ones the love and attention they need so they can also mourn and address their emotions.

Author bio: Patrick Bailey is a professional writer mainly in the fields of mental health, addiction, and living in recovery. He attempts to stay on top of the latest news in the addiction and the mental health world and enjoys writing about these topics to break the stigma associated with them.

Sources

drugabuse.gov – Addressing the Stigma That Surrounds Addiction
drugabuse.gov – Words Matter – Terms to Use and Avoid When Talking About Addiction
ncbi.nlm.nih.gov – Understanding Stigma of Mental and Substance Use Disorders
ncbi.nlm.nlh.gov – Grief and Mourning Gone Awry: Pathway and Course of Complicated Grief
grieflink.org.au – Unrecognized or Hidden Grief
samhsa.gov – The Power of Perceptions and Understand: Changing How We Deliver Treatment and Recovery Services
grasphelp.org - About Us (GRASP)
mygriefconnection.org - In-Person Support Groups
medlineplus.gov - Bereavement
cdc.gov - Grief and Loss

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2/4/2021

AFTR.Live GroundCam

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AFTR.Live GroundCam

We are so excited to have recently partnered with @aftr_live
as a brand ambassador. Check out the interview with our Founder,
Sara Cobb, recently did with them on their blog to learn more about our
story and her passion to serve the grief community.

Read the blog post here:
https://www.aftr.live/en/blog/sara-cobb--my-grief-connection

We know that the AFTR GroundCam will be a source of great comfort and connection to so many grieving families. The company launched the first-ever gravesite camera system that includes a mobile application and headstone camera, and provides AFTR Messaging, which securely delivers pre-recorded memories and messages from people who have passed away.

AFTR has changed the way people visit burial sites - forever.

For more information about the AFTR GroundCam visit https://aftr.live/
Use the code MGC-10 for 10% OFF your purchase.

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Find Resources - Connect to Community - Grow Hope

A New Home and a Fresh Start Amid Grief - By Catherine Workman

Image via Unsplash

Survivors of Murder-Suicide Loss Share How You Can Help Support

Survivors of Murder-Suicide Loss Share How You Can Help Support

Meditation as a Coping Strategy: How to Revitalize Your Body, Mind, and Spirit

HOW TO HANDLE COVID-RELATED LIFE CHANGES

How to Handle COVID-Related
Life Changes

Do People Hide Their Grief Over Overdose-Related Deaths Because of Addiction-Related Stigmas?

AFTR.Live GroundCam

Sara J. Cobb

Archives

Categories

Find Resources - Connect to Community - Grow Hope

A New Home and a Fresh Start Amid Grief - By Catherine Workman

Image via Unsplash

Survivors of Murder-Suicide Loss Share How You Can Help Support

Survivors of Murder-Suicide Loss Share How You Can Help Support

Meditation as a Coping Strategy: How to Revitalize Your Body, Mind, and Spirit

HOW TO HANDLE COVID-RELATED LIFE CHANGES

How to Handle COVID-Related​Life Changes

Do People Hide Their Grief Over Overdose-Related Deaths Because of Addiction-Related Stigmas?

AFTR.Live GroundCam

Sara J. Cobb

Archives

Categories

How to Handle COVID-Related
Life Changes